Sayuri: Thoughts on my favorite songs

"This is my debut song. It's not a song I made to cheer someone else up. It's a song I made to help me love myself. This me that's insufficient and lacking... it's a song I made so that I could accept myself. I didn't make it to cheer someone else up, but if this song--this video--becomes something you can draw strength from, I'd be happy. Here I go."

Her and I

I like to believe that Sayuri and I had the same motivations for making the things that we did.

To save ourselves

To love ourselves.

To accept ourselves.

Not for anyone else's sake but our own.

A deeply selfish act of creation.

I love Sayuri's music, on a technical level, on a lyrical level, and ultimately on a very emotional level.

I wish I had the chance to connect with her.

Rest in peace Sayuri, you'll always be important to me, and your music got me through some very hard times.

Mikazuki

Lyrics and translation

As I am right now, I’m so useless and hopeless...

I felt this way for a very long time as well...

Nonetheless, I want someone to find me

I really wanna run away, but I can’t...

I can’t even imagine there being a bright future...

But y’know, nonetheless I want you to find me

This part reminds me of the past versions of myself.

Wanting to be saved.

Wanting to run away from myself but never escaping my own shadow.

Not being able to imagine a bright future for myself...

Nonetheless, I don’t want to lose to anyone

Not even to myself

I want to change the part of myself that searched for things I was lacking.

I want to change

I rise up through the sky like a butterfly

I fly with these insufficient wings, an ugly child of a star: a new moon.

It's so powerful...

. . .

Eyes mismatched in color

Lyrics and translation

This song got me through my early years of transition.

My reading of the lyrics, as a trans woman, is that it's about transition and accepting yourself.

Read the lyrics in this context and tell me that it can't be read as a song about being trans.

Much like Celeste, the song touches people of all kinds because it tells a deeply emotionally resonant story.

One of accepting and loving yourself.

I love this song deeply.

Here's some lyrics that stand out to me.

If there’s no way to change shape before we die,

We wish to just disappear... we wish to run away...

If there's no way I could become the version of me that I want to be... I would just wish I could disappear.

If things are going to be this painful,

If living is going to be this painful

It’s hurting you again tonight, so until that blade becomes your wings,

Until your pain becomes your strength

There's nothing wrong with how you were born

You were always a trans person.

Your eyes are beautiful. Your name is beautiful.

You are beautiful just the way you are.

Just the way that you are.

In your transness, in your neurodivergence, in your struggles.

You are beautiful.

Let us go to see new scenery that only your eyes can find.

Your pain is your strength, your uniqueness brings you the ability to write and create things that only you can

Everything you’ve seen in your life has value.

The entire album is amazing and you should check it out!

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