Thoughts on a 'perfect' day

I got this book recently with a bunch of short writing prompts, and one of them was simply "A perfect day is..." followed by an hourly "schedule" of what a perfect day would look like.

Writing about my perfect day got me thinking about like...how it feels so foreign to me to be thinking about what a good day looks like, much less a perfect day.

I have good days now. I have great days.

But my perfect day is one where I'm free from the mental health struggles that have defined my entire life.

I can write about how I'd like to be productive, have a nice omakase dinner, go on a walk in the park, and eat ice cream on my perfect day.

That's easy.

It's much harder to write about how I want my perfect day to be free of anxieties.

To be free from the obsessive thoughts that worm their way into my mind every hour of every day.

To feel secure and safe in my footing, to feel safe.

It's hard to write about those feelings because of how foreign they feel.

How far away it all seems.

But.

That's the wrong way of thinking about things I think.

. . .

My perfect day is possible.

Yes, obviously, I can have a day where I have omakase and walk in the park and eat ice cream.

But more importantly, I can have a day without anxieties and mood swings and low self-esteem.

That's possible.

That's achievable today.

I am in a place in my mental health journey where I can clearly say that this is possible.

My medications help enough. The therapy skills have pushed the thoughts from persistent and overwhelming to the occasional bothersome thought.

And they'll only get better and better.

I will have my perfect days.

Days without anxieties.

I want to touch this idea gently, hold it in my hands, and slowly absorb it into myself.

I can have good days.

Days without anxieties.

It feels foreign to me that these days are even possible.

But I want to get there.

The eventual goal is to have those days be so normal that they're unremarkable.

To get there I have to start having those days.

To start having those days I have to start with believing that I can have them.

To believe that good mental health days are not just "in my future", but happening here and now.

I am having good mental health days nowadays.

Most days are good.

Many days are good.

I am in a place in my mental health journey where I'm transitioning from years of struggling every day to a future where I just...don't have to struggle anymore.

Good days are possible.

Perfect days are coming.

I don't just want to believe, I want to manifest.

I can't have what I don't believe will happen after all.

I will have good days.

I will have good days.

I will have good days.

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