Misgendering, ignorance, and disrespect (Trans: 4)

This is the 4th post in a series about trans experiences (previous/next)

Misgendering - Lily

Mistakes happen, yet

In their careless words

Splitting pain fills my being

Going down a deep dark path

Entering into that painful place

Neverending darkness

Denied my very sense of being

Existence rejected, euphoria extinguished

Ripped out of my heart

In their careless words

Nullifying words, numbing words

Going to lose my mind

Thoughts

I'm sick and tired of those who misgender me or any other trans person.

I don't care what the excuse is, no excuse is worth the pain that we go through because of it.

There is no excuse, if you know someone's pronouns and fuck it up, you should be fully aware of the immense pain that it does to someone.

There is no excuse. I don't fucking care what your excuse is.

Read this and learn.

Listen to us.

Misgendering because of your careless words hurts us in a way that you can barely understand.

So I will put it in the most plain terms possible.

You are hurting us.

Most trans people are just too fucking nice or too fucking traumatized by it to fight back in the moment.

To convey to those around us how much it sucks to be misgendered.

But I want you to read this and know exactly how bad it is.

To remove any plausible deniability in your mind that this is something that's forgivable.

Every misgendering is a scar upon my body.

Every misgendering is a trauma I carry.

It is not possible to claim to care about a trans person yet disrespect their most basic form of identity.

To disrespect their basic identity in that way is to hurt them in a way that you can't understand.

So

Don't

Fucking

Do

It

You have the power to stop hurting us.

Just put in the barest amount of fucking effort.

No fucking excuses.

. . .

I am very angry tonight at life things so that's why this post came out so angry.

I always intended to convey this message, just maybe not so angrily.

But some things need anger to convey the right emotion and urgency.

Sometimes anger is a productive emotion.

. . .

No one is free from blame for hurting trans people.

I'm certainly not.

I was bad about non-binary pronouns for a long time.

But eventually I got it through my head.

And now I'm trying to get it through your head as well.

It hurts people when you misgender them.

It hurts them deeply.

Please try to understand.

Please try to put in more effort to not hurt us.

It's

really

not

that

hard

It's really not that hard

Neopronouns are not that hard.

Transfem pronouns are not that hard.

Transmasc pronouns are not that hard.

No correct pronoun usage is that hard.

It really isn't.

So whenever anyone misgenders someone I just see a complete lack of care for the trans person.

I see someone not willing to put in the basic fucking effort to not hurt this trans person.

I see disrespect and ignorance at best, hate at worst.

So read this and understand.

Get it through your skull.

Stop hurting us.

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